The night I accidentally killed myself. Chapter 1
It was a dark and stormy night.
No it wasn’t. It was actually pretty mild for that time of year. I’d been working at Forest City International Harvester, as an apprentice mechanic and had been let go earlier that week. I can’t remember for what but I was 18 and still thought I knew everything.
I had gotten a date with a beautiful brunette named Loraine North. I wasn’t going to let my unemployment ruin a good thing so I begged to borrow my Dad’s 1973 Toyota Celica to take her out. I think I was riding a Kawasaki around then. NOT taking a date vehicle.
I’d dressed to the 9’s in a pair of green slacks with a pull over sweater that graduated from dark green to light green at my shoulders over a silk shirt that matched the colour scheme. Dark brown dress shoes and a recent hair cut that shaped my shoulder length dark brown hair in a style something like David Cassidy of the Partridge Family show wore. I also think I was sporting a mustache. Pretty sure of that. I’d wolfed down a Cheese and Lettuce sandwich before taking the keys to pick her up off Grand St.
I was taking her to a rather famous Disco in London on Piccadilly Street know then as The Spaghetti Factory. It had people coming from Detroit and Toronto in Limos. I knew some of the door men so getting in was easy. The Dance floor was shaped like a huge square C with the back facing away from the bar and in front of the large DJ stand. The floor lit up in different colours and in time with the music Rumor was, some NASA guy had designed the electronics.
I get to Loraine’s place early around 8 as we wanted to be there before it really got rocking. Table would be hard to come by later. We get in, get a table nice and close to the dance floor, and a couple of drinks. Loraine is wearing a really pretty dress. She looked FABULOUS as Billy Crystal would say.
Now here’s where the story starts taking a turn towards stupidity. For some stupid reason I’d told an acquaintance, that I, to this day couldn’t tell you his name if you stuck bamboo shoots under my fingernails, that I would pick him up after he finished work at Westmount Mall and bring him back to the bar.
Did I mention stupid? Beautiful woman, Saturday night, a must be seen at bar, and I was going to leave her there to pick up, who? Some guy? Why? Stupid right?
So stupid is as stupid does and I leave Lorine and half a bottle of beer and a few drinks for her, and away I go.
Down Wharncliffe Rd to Springbank. Race down Springbank till I run into traffic slowly going west past Kernohan Pkwy. Hillman’s Gulf station is to my right and the little plaza on my left. The traffic lines actually show a passing are there. I look forward and there are 3 cars in front of me. Lead car has it’s right turn signal on to head into Hillman’s Gulf.
I’m driving a SPORTS CAR! Down into 2nd gear and out into the passing lane and I wind it up to 60 MPH and the lead car now turns left towards the plaza.
CRAP
Lots of other 4 letter words are said in the 4 or 5 seconds till something really bad is gonna happen. The entrance to the plaza parking lot is paved quite a ways past the entrance. I steer towards the entrance and hit the brakes hard. Tires squeal and I just touch bumpers with a 74 Camaro.
BUT the tap is enough to turn the Celica sideways so I’m now sliding towards the hydro pole smack dab in the middle of the entrance, instead of past it onto the asphalt beyond it.
It’s a moment past 9PM and guess what CJBK Radio 1290 is playing?
Saturday Night by the Bay City Rollers.
Wham, hydro pole right on the drivers door jamb. My face hits the pole. Breaks my nose. Lots of blood. Door is now pushed almost to the center console between the bucket seats. Steam and smoke is rising from under the twisted hood. Why are my shoes off? Why am I a pretzel?
And OMYFUCKINGGOD my left leg is broken.
Thankfully the radio is now silent. So is everything else but the hiss of steam from the engine. It’s actually so long before someone gets to my car that I have time to undo my seat belt and slowly pull myself over the console into the passenger seat. I’m able to shoulder the passenger door open and get my ass on the ground. I know my leg is broken but the pain hasn’t really struck yet. I’m still lucid and thinking and trying not to move my leg around much when somebody reaches under my armpits and pulls me away from the car. My left leg had still been partially in the car as I was trying to be careful with moving it.
Well that’s over. My leg falls the foot or so onto the ground and bounces. I’m reaching up to grab whoever just yanked me out. Oh boy I’m feeling the pain now. My leg has twisted almost 180°. Guy disappears as fast as he showed up. I’m lying there in pain but trying to be stoic. That ain’t easy I learn. Biggest bone in the body.
By now a large crowd had gathered. It’s not particularly cold out but the pavement is chilling my ass. Cops come and take my whole wallet. Told me they’d give it back at the hospital. Ambulance has arrived. No Paramedics back then. They do put a backboard under me and strap my legs to it. Get me inside and ask which hospital I want to go to. I say St. Joe’s It’s the only one I know.
Then they ask the most surreal question. Do I want the $5 ride or the $25 ride. WTF? The expensive one is fast and with siren going. I say $5. The cops got my wallet and I only have $10 in my pocket. We drive to the hospital nice and slow. Cracking jokes with guys. They can’t understand why I wasn’t unconscious and also why I’m not screaming my head off. Hmm good question.
Now in Emergency and getting all the doctors looking at me. Checking for trauma etc. Say I’m doing remarkably well for a crash like that. Finally they let me near a phone. Call the bar to let Loraine know I won’t be coming back. Never see or hear from her again. I wonder why? Call parents. Yeah we’ll leave that out of the record.
Now comes the torture part. Because of where the break is and the possibility of actual head trauma that hasn’t manifested yet they want to put me in traction instead of cutting me open and putting a pin in bone. Welp, you’re the doctors. So into another special room down the hall from everyone they have 3 orderlies and the doctor there. Umm What’s up guys?
Well remember that head trauma thing? No knocking me out and no local anesthetic for what they’re about to do to me. Out comes a Black & Decker drill. I kid you not! Two orderlies hold my leg and one holds me around my arms. About 2 inches down from my knee cap the doc drills a 3/8″ hole across my shin. A lot of gritting teeth but still no screaming. THEN as if that wasn’t enough he gets this foot long piece of stainless steel rod with self tapping threads in the middle and insets it into the hole he just drilled. Then he attaches it to a hand auger drill like Grandpa used to build the family barn with and starts threading the rod into my shin. Yeah that gets some swear words.
The doc cleans up the new wounds and adds the loop to the rod and cuts off the excess with bolt cutters. All through this he’s commenting about how I’m not screaming and crying and carrying on. I ask, is that why we’re so far down the hall from the examining room. He goes Yep. So I ask if all what he expected some to do would have made any of the pain go away and he said Nope.
And I said “Well there’s your answer Doc. Wouldn’t have changed anything so why scream about it.” He thought that was interesting. So now I’m hooked up to what looks like scaffolding for a building project and a rope from my knee to a pully with 20lbs of weight on the end.
By now I’m exhausted. It’s about 3 AM and they get me to a room. I’m out like a light.
I’m awake around 11ish I think and Pam Walters my ex girlfriend is up visiting me. I don’t know how she knew I was there. Never did ask. But the memory of her that first day is short.
I only recall about 20-30 minutes of it and her running from the room because I’m making funny noises, and I can only recall snapshots of things over the next 2 weeks.
I lapse into a coma. The broken femur, the biggest bone can sometimes cause a fatty embolism. From what I’ve read it’s a big chunk of the bone marrow that enters the blood stream and goes to your heart, lungs or brain. Mine went to my lungs. If it’d gone to the others I would have stroked out or heart attacked. Lucky? Not so fast. It now leads to ARDS Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. My lungs were now filling with fluid which lead to bilateral pneumothorax. Both lungs had collapsed.
I’m going to continue this tomorrow.
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